Valentine snuggles!

JD - What a busy day!

Max - Yeah! But it's been fun!

JD - Our humans stayed with us all day - they seem to do that every 5 days or so, we like it when they do that....

Max - 'Cos we get to snuggle up in the lounge all day where they hang out instead of just the kitchen - it's good!




JD - We went for a lovely walk this morning, off-lead and were VERY good boys and came back every time we were called.

Max - Yeah! We got treats every time we did that, they were yummy!

JD - And a bit later on we went for another walk and met loads of people! We ended up at this place called a groomers....

Max - And there were lots of other dogs there!

JD - But the lovely lady there seemed to think we were more handsome than all the others. We were shown round and tried out the grooming table and got our ears plucked and our coats brushed....

Max - And the nice lady gave us loads of cuddles and treats and told us that we were very good boys.

JD - And she gave our human a handful of yummy chew sticks to take home with her!

Max - We've been booked in for a proper session in a couple of weeks time - it's going to be fun!

JD - We're going to look even more handsome than usual Max!

Max - Is that possible....? [He he he!]

It's not the falling that's painful - it's the landing....

JD - My paws are a bit sore.....

Max - Mine too.....

JD - And my chin - I'm surprised I've got any beard left.

Max - That jump we both did - off the 4 foot wall into the darkness tonight? I thought it would be so much fun!

JD - Me too Max. I thought we'd float down to the ground all 'floaty-light' and we'd have so much fun we'd want to do it again and again....

Max - But.....ouch!

JD - Concrete is HARD! It hurt...

Max - It did hurt - I cried!

JD - Me too! Good job our human was there to cuddle us and tell us we were brave puppies and to give us treats.

Max - Yeah - she made the 'ouch' go away a bit.


JD - She did. But nevertheless I'm glad that our bed's nice and soft and snugly - I still feel a bit bruised.

Max - Me too - time to snuggle up and get comfy. Bed's definitely better than concrete....!

JD - Wise words Max, wise words!

A life of grime......

JD - Being the conscientious, mature puppy that I am I recently decided to do my bit for the environment and the local community!

Max - You mean the rubbish collection that you've started doing when we're out on walkies?

JD - You've noticed? That's good! Our human seems to be very happy with my latest project because she's been helping me....

Max - Yeah! She takes all the bits of rubbish that you pick up off you doesn't she?

JD - She sure does! She's obviously collecting it all to dispose of at an appropriate juncture.....

Max - She seemed to especially like that rotting banana skin you picked up the other day! She actually shuddered when she took it out of your mouth - she must have been overcome with pride!

JD - You betcha! Clacton will be a much better place with helpful, mature puppies such as myself around!

Max - I'm proud of you bruv!

A place for everything.....and everything in its place!

Max - I am an obedient, clever dog!

JD - Hey! I usually start the blogs.....

Max - Well, today I've started the blog because I am an obedient, clever dog! I know this becuase my human keeps on telling me!

JD - That's not fair - she hasn't told ME that I'm an obedient, clever dog. And I'm the mature one!

Max - She MUST be impressed with me then! She KEEPS on telling me this you see. There I was, re-arranging my toys in pairs just the way I like them....

JD - In the lounge?

Max - Yup! I don't know why our human keeps on putting them back into the kitchen when I go to all that trouble to bring them out into the lounge every evening.

JD - She's persistant - but I'm sure you'll train her over time....

Max - Hope so! Anyway, every time I line up my toys my human gives me a funny look and tells me that I'm an OCD puppy - which obviously stands for obedient, clever dog....

JD - I'm jealous - she hasn't said this to me yet.....

Max - Never mind - I'm sure if you keep on moving your things around just like I do she'll start to tell you the same.....!

How the wet was won.....!

JD - We don't quite understand why humans like the wet so much. Just recently I've had soggy paws every time we go for a walk - it simply isn't on!

Max - YOU'VE had soggy paws? What about me? You're about two inches taller than me - I've had a soggy tummy, a soggy beard AND a soggy tail!

JD - You'd think they'd do something about this unsavoury state of affairs wouldn't you?

Max - Yeah! I mean - what about yesterday?

JD - Exactly! Wet ALL day. And not just wet either - we're talking totally water-logged, utterly drenched, completely saturated, unbearably sodden....

Max - JD!

JD - It means extreme wetness Max.....

Max - Oh.....

JD - We TRIED to go for a walk yesterday - heaven knows we did! But there was water coming down from above, there were rivers that had suddenly appeared all over our usual walking route and we had to wade through them - yes! Wade through! - there was water blowing over us from the North Sea..... It simply wasn't on for a couple of puppies as cute as us to go out in such severe conditions.....

Max - So we didn't!

JD - Well.......we did if you remember - but we dragged our human STRAIGHT back home again.

Max - Yeah - we weren't having that!

JD - Precicely! Nip it in the bud, that's what I say. We have to train our humans right from the start, otherwise they'll be dragging us out into the wet at ALL hours of the day and night.....

Max - Yeah! And I don't like being soggy!

JD - I don't like you being soggy either - you smell a bit......

Max - I do not!

JD - You do you know. You smell of damp dog....

Max - Humph!

How we saved Clacton from flooding

JD - We were soooo sleepy last night that we actually forgot to get up and have our usual wee in the middle of the night!

Max - It was nice not having to leave our nice comfy bed though....

JD - I couldn't believe it when our human suddenly appeared out of the darkness and told me it was morning....


Max - But it was! So we went for walkies! I like walkies!

JD - The tide was out this morning so our human took us down on the beach. We like to run across all the pebbles at the top of the beach!

Max - Yeah! The pebbles make exciting noises when we chase each other!

JD - But the sea kept on trying to claim our beach space......


Max - It washed over my paws!


JD - So we pounced on it - ha! - and it retreated! As it should!


Max - Yeah! We showed it!

JD - Seriously - if we hadn't been there to pounce on it and show it who's boss it would probably have kept coming in and Clacton would probably have been flooded!


Max - All our toys would have been swept away! And our treats!


JD - Exactly Max! It could have been a complete disaster!


Max - So - do you think the humans realise how lucky they are to have two such brave and clever puppies around?

JD - Sigh......I doubt it Max, I doubt it......!

Special presents!

JD - Because we're both such clever puppies we've noticed that our female human gets really, really excited every time we go to the toilet outside.

Max - Yeah! She tells us what good boys we are when we do that and we get treats and head rubs and she puts on her 'happy face' - we like 'happy face!'. It makes us both feel all smiley and good!

JD - So we thought - seeing as we're such clever puppies and all - that we'd make a special effort to go to the toilet in the kitchen every single night so that our human can feel really excited every single morning when she sees what we've done!

Max - Yeah! Night time toileting!

JD - And it's hard you know.... I really don't think she appreciates just HOW hard it is for us to make sure we both wake up to do this special thing for her when we're both so, so sleepy....

Max - Yeah! I have to get up from my lovely, warm and comfy cushion just to do a wee when I'm really sleepy......

JD - But you see the thing is, by the time she has FINALLY come down to see us (after abandoning the two of us to bravely cope all on our own throughout the night until the incredibly late hour of six am every day by the way) she's obviously far too sleepy to notice our continued diligent nightly efforts. All she does is quietly clear it all up without ANY fuss or excitement whatsoever.

Max - So no 'happy face' - it makes me feel all sad....

JD - But when we go into the garden with her to have our morning wee the cold must wake her up because she suddenly gets all happy again and we both get a treat and loads and loads of fuss. Go figure!!

Max - Yeah! I like my morning treat - it's yummy!

JD - I do think we need to keep trying the night time toileting for a little while longer though. I know our human's a bit slow, but even she's bound to notice it soon, surely? And when she does she's bound to be really pleased by what clever puppies we are!

Max - Yup - and then we're sure to get an extra special treat for being the cleverest puppies in the whole world!

Here we are!!

JD - Hello, hello! You're reading our blog, isn't this exciting?! I'm JD - a super-cool and incredibly cute miniature schnauzer who lives in Clacton-on-Sea in England. I'm four months old now, but I'm ever such a mature puppy for my age - my human is always telling me this so I know it must be true!

Max - And me! And me!!

JD - No, you're not mature Max - you're my brother, but you're a little bit mad, that's why you're called Max. Mad Max! Mad Max! Ha ha ha!

Max - I like to woof at things! I'm really, really good at woofing at things and I'm really good at eating paper too - you can never trust paper you know, it's noisy stuff so you have to eat it to show it who's boss!

JD - Um - yes Max!

Max - I also like tummy rubs! And I like my squeaky chicken! Squeaky chicken is my absolute favourite toy - next to squeaky chop of course! We have so many fun toys! But my absolute favourite thing in the whole world is going outside for walkies! Walkies rule - yeah!

JD - Quite! But whenever we go for walkies you have to have a special bark collar on that squirts soothing citronella fragrance up your nose, don't you? I don't have to wear one because I'm SUCH a mature puppy that I would never bark inappropriately. You see, you simply don't bark inappropriately when you're as grown up and mature as I am!

Max - You mean my bling collar? Our human told me I needed a special collar so that other dogs would know I ruled the hood round here. I'm cool, I'm cool!

JD - No Max - you're just woofy! Didn't you bark at a blind man the other day....

Max - Well, his white stick was scary!

JD - Hmmmm!

Max - Writing a blog is tiring - I'm snoozy, zzzzzzzzzzzzz............

JD - Nap time - zzzzzzzzzz!