Max's guide to the credit crunch

Hi - I'm Max. And I'd like to talk to you about something important.....


....namely, this credit munch thingy that we've all been hearing so much about. Apparently it's a worry. It's the hot topic of debate amongst humans. We've all heard them going on about it - "When will it end?" - "What can we do about it?" - "How will we cope?" Well, because it could possibly influence the supply of doggie biscuits that we get I've done some serious thinking on this subject. And I'm pleased to tell you that I have devised a fail-safe way of making it through these hard times.

Now, we realise that humans are always worrying about how they're going to acquire things. Food, petrol, real estate - they like to own things, to make things theirs. So during these tough times I feel that we need to go back to our roots, to uphold that proud canine tradition - "you pee - you own!"

Take me and JD for example - we are now doggies of considerable wealth. Our real-estate boundaries stretch far and wide, and I'm not just talking about the detached summer house that we have had sited within our humans garden either....


....I'm talking serious real estate. I have utilised this ancient 'you pee - you own!' tradition many times and I now own an impressive range of beach huts. At my last count at least 50 of these cute beach-side settings are now mine....


By the same process I have also staked my claim on several businesses. The Royal Mail I though seemed as good a place as any to start my business empire- it is now mine!


Of course, to uphold this proud canine tradition you need to realise that boundaries are important. We can't all just pee willy-nilly! You need to sniff out your boundaries and ensure that other doggies have not already applied for planning permission or any form of consent before you. Walk the areas you are interested in many times before you stake your claim. For example, the edge of our domain starts here, at this rather pretty tree on the seafront....


....and ends about 3 miles later at this rather convenient post!


These boundaries are always honoured amongst doggies - the owner of the seafront from this post onwards is one of our best friends, a lovely yellow lab called Yoshi. He staked his claim several months ago so now this land belongs to him , it's as simple as that! So, our land boundaries stretch along the seafront from here....


....right up to the pier at the other end of the seafront!


Further, the beauty of this ancient 'you pee - you own!' law is that you can also use it to pick out any bits and bobs that might take your fancy whilst you're out on your walk. For example, we decided that this wheelie bin that's situated just before one of the entrances to the beach would be a lovely little gift for our humans. It's a very convenient poo-bag depositing receptacle you see - you see what thoughtful pups we are?! [Message from female human - gee, thanks Max, you really SHOULDN'T have....!]


We also own a few cars too - I rather liked this dark grey sporty number so applied the pee method, now it's mine!


....whilst JD preferred this lighter grey car.


So, there you have it - the ancient 'you pee - you own!' rule. I think you'll find that it's the secret to getting through the credit munch. Please feel free to use it - you'll thank me later!!